Wednesday, June 27, 2012


It was turning out to be a most memorable night, a heady mix of nicotine, the zingy salty air, and an effervescent, eccentric female had more than taken care of that. He was just beginning to get over the rather peculiar way in which the night had begun, when she popped the rather uncomfortable question.
“What’s wrong in being angry huh? Everyone makes it out to be some sort of illness plaguing your system, and you try to weed it out by laughing away like morons with something up their arse, why?!! Its good to be angry, you know, its only when you are angry that you feel vast reserves of energy in you, you know, you keep bounding about saying stuff to yourself like a mad hatter, you are actually bustling with life when you are angry, as opposed to when you are docile and slouching like a spineless something in your couch trying to figure out what to watch on TV. Take it from me, you are healthier when you are angry.” Her conviction and rapidly moving arms seemed like something out of a Tarantino movie.
 “Do you do standup?”
 “No, why?”
 “Your mannerism reminds me of one, are you a shrink?”
 “No, why?”
 “The way you talk reminds me of one. You are a standup the shrink cat brought in.”
 “Cats are quite wonderful creatures don’t you think? They have that quiet dignity about them, cultured, if you will, and they mind their own business, not like those stupid canines that lick you senseless at the drop of a hat. I’ve never liked dogs, you know, too intrusive, and stupid, following you around all over the place, I let go of my Vodafone the minute they started doing those stupid dog commercials.”
“ You might want to snuff out your joint, you know, you are already way beyond your senses”, he said, taking a puff off his own.
“ oh no no darling, these rants are not nicotine fuelled. I am known to be eloquent, and articulate”, a regal, nonchalant wave of the hand punctuated her words.”
“Well if I could, I would prostate before you to make you zip up”, he was reaching his wit’s end, though he had secretly begun to admire this mysterious chatterbox acquaintance he had made.
“ Oh you poor wasted boy, then do it, why don’t you?”
“I am presently indisposed”.
“Indisposed, indisposed is such a convenient word no? It is the yada yada of excuses”. He felt a pressing need to ask what yada yada was, but he somehow suppressed his urge.
“So tell me, what made you come over to this lovely place at this unearthly hour? Lizards copulating madly in your bed ?”
“ Oh I would be a fool to hive up a rendezvous with such a pretty female”, his blunt methods of flirtation were rather well known.
“ Oh so you are one of those shamelessly hopeless romantics aren’t you?”, she was known for calling a spade a spade.
“ Well it has worked to great effect previously”, he said in defence, never one to admit defeat.
Conversation died off, as they lay there in the moist sand, gazing up at a cloudless sky, silence broken only by the waves as they rolled ashore one after the other, leaving a crab or two scurrying along in its wake. The lighthouse illuminated vast swathes of the sea, as the beam of light danced around in wide arcs. Overall, it was a most tranquil, beautiful night, appealing to the romantic in him, doing nothing of the sort to the cynic in her.
“I had a dream of someone trying to kill me, it was pretty unnerving”. She burst out in peals of uncontrollable laughter.
“ So that’s why you are here? Because you saw a dream? Boy oh boy !” Her laughter eventually died down, leaving him rather red faced, though she couldn’t see that in the darkness, much to his relief.
“ Why are people so scared of death? Is it not a relief from the tribulations in life? Come on man, we need more stars up there in the sky, it will look good, the stars down here are arrogant truckloads of trash!”.
“ I get the point”, he said, through clenched teeth. She was clearly off the hook.
“ Hey tell me something, this person who killed you, was it a female who stuck a pen in your neck?”
“ How on earth..”, he was stopped midsentence, as just then she proceeded to take out a Reynolds from her pocket and sink it viciously in his neck, rupturing his jugular vein. He was too shocked to respond. A piercing pain permeated rapidly through his body, which then gave way to a gurgling sound as blood oozed out in copious amounts.
He was too shocked too notice the speedometer needle and the fuel needle approach red. This was not the first time he had had nightmares, but this one was different in terms of the effect it had on him, It was grotesque, unnerving, and he could not go back to sleep, not with that image playing in front of his eyes. That’s when he got on his bike and shot off into the night.
He was not expecting anyone at the beach, not at this hour. It was a secluded, isolated place, not someplace many people knew, and that made him more nervous. As he went closer, he realized that it was a cigarette toting female, a rather young, attractive female at that. He felt his fear steadily seeping away. He walked up to her, she seemed to be sleeping.
“ Mind if I join in?”, she woke up with a start.
“ Whoa, you scared me, I wasn’t expecting anyone to turn up at this hour”.
“ Well that makes the two of us, whats your name?”
“ Nothing significant, got a cigarette?”
“ I have something stronger”, he lay down next to her, and they lit up. “So why are you here?”, he asked, to break the ice.
“ Stormed out of the hostel, spat with warden”, they smoked their joints in silence.
“ Angry young female huh”.
He lay there in the sand, writhing in pain, steadily losing consciousness and a lot of blood. She stood above him, smoking, in no apparent hurry.
“you know boyo, there are two types of dreams, the good dream and the bad dream. The difference between the two, is that bad dreams usually come true. She suddenly yanked him closer by the collar and whispered in his ears, “ You, my love, had a terribly bad dream”. The slow, passionate strawberry flavoured kiss had a tone of finality to it. And that’s when everything turned to an endless sea of white.


Sriram said...

FUCK! I wish i could write like this man. Thozhuthu! Hats off!
And I like the female :P

(mandatory captcha rant) They've brought in images now. Shady weed-film-type images besides regular sphagetti words.

Sriram said...

PS: Recursion. Seeing so much of it these days. Shall narrate to you in detail when we meet up for a joint in B'lore ;) Loved the recurring stuff to be precise.

Srivardhan said...

Holy shitbums! That was one hell of a narration, bro.

vanwinkle said...

much thanks, sriram and srivardhan:)

Vivek said...

Brilliant. God. Fucking amazing. Ah! I don't even know what to say. Sigh.

Gopu said...

Now that's what I would call 'fucking good'!!

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