Saturday, February 25, 2012


Alright listen. There’s this downright amusing thing that happened some time back. I m sure you would read it in the papers,but then you know how these paper guys are.. they see a chick with her strap slightly askew,and you read about a female walking topless in public glare ,”in what can be called a blatant disregard of public decency”. Anyway,I digress. This is going to happen quite a few times,so kindly bear with me.

Alright,so there was this guy,who had this shop right next to the main road. You know that road which is perennially clogged to the hilt? The one which has all these insanely,vulgarly rich shops lining it?playground of the bourgeoise?yeah that one.. This dude had this shop which sold cigarettes and all… Not quite keeping up with the rich boys,I know,but then if its there its there..

Anyway,this guy had a problem. I mean,its not something which is out there for all to see,its as if he was going around filling cigarettes with cyanide and all,but you could tell,you would not be able to put a finger on it,but you could tell. The sort of problem any hotshot shrink would kill to check out.

Now,this guy used to open up shop at about 8 in the morning..he had this kid as a help,he d picked him up from the pavement or something.. And the only thing this guy would do was sit in this rather comfyish arm chair he had,put his feet up on the counter,and stare at the traffic on the road through this glass pane his shop had,which,by the way,was bedecked with an inch thick layer of grime and muck and avian excrement and all sorts of dirt you could think of.. Coming to think of it,I don’t remember a single day someone did something to that glass.. It just stayed on the glass pane,etched in permanence,as those poet fellows or the writers would put it.. Personally,I wouldn’t put it past the guy to have thought of it as some sort of a crazy “COME ON IN,MAN!!” signboard.. And somehow,he stared through all that.. And he wouldn’t even acknowledge his regular customers,a cursory,imperceptible nod of the head,perhaps,but that was merely mechanical more than anything else.. ya,so anyway,this was all he used to do.. He seemed to be fascinated by the incessant flow of traffic,obsessed,like a child would be with his toys,minus the childlike enthusiasm of course,perfunctory obsession,if you will..

Now,let me bring in some perspective of my own.. Listen to this closely,because this might explain why this dude did what he did.. What he did will come at the end,obviously,like all good stories.. I guess he was probably appalled by the levels life has stooped down to.. yeah this dude metaphorically extrapolated the flow of traffic to the ebb and flow of life.. Badass no?wait,it gets badasser.. What I mean is,what sort of life are you leading when you don’t have the slightest regard or respect for another individual? No? you simply cannot bring yourself to be behind a guy for some time,no,you have to honk the other guy out senseless and get past.. You are so bloody obsessed with leaving the pack behind in this stupidass world,that you ll do anything to acheive whatever stupid thing it is that you want to achieve.. The last dregs of humanity have been drained out forever. You cannot,wll not get out of your insanely sophisticated automobile to help a guy with a flat tire or something,unless it’s a buxom chick with lots of cleavage visible. Oh you get a hard on with that kitschy stuff don’t you? Where are we headed yo? The light turns green and bang,it’s a deafening cacophony of a zillion odd stupid horns,you just cant wait.. well,you have got millions riding on every second haven’t you?Understandable..
I guess this guy became morbidly fascinated with this whole ruddy concept with each passing day.. a never ending saga of degenerating decencies.. why morbid?

One day,I mean the day I m talking about,the day which this amusing incident happened,this guy wanted to do this social experiment sorta thingy to actually gauge the extent of this rut.. What he did, he took out his gun,went to the junction,this happened during rush hour,mind,and blew his goddamn brains off.. Now that’s dramatic for you.. alright,anyway,thanks for your attention,now forget this,and get back to whatever it is that you were doing.. cheerio..

PS: to the cop or whoever it is that finds this bit of literary genius.. Get this published,man,just give it to one of em douchebag reporters.. And,oh,sorry about all the blood and all,just wash it off or something.


Sriram said...

Oh man oh man, I believe you have indeed downed something :D Loved the style mate, reminded me of the breakfast conversation in Reservoir Dogs. Btw, any chance any of this happened in real or was inspired by some crack-den-resembling shop near our hallowed institution?

Srivardhan said...

A large dose of weltschmerz comes free with every philosophical cigarette u smoke.
Great narration!

PseudoIngenue said...

I had a massive grin on my face as I read this. Probably not the best emotion to have reading someone blowing their brains up. I don't even think you need to read Calvino to understand mindfuckery. You write very well, Mister. Honestly, cannot wait for you to post more.

ariyathe said...

You're actually insane. I don't even know why I'm laughing. Crazy! Seriously, the best narration I've read in a while!

vanwinkle said...

@tux purely fictional mate:) and yeah,the RD style was a heavy influence,thanks!:)

@srivardhan ah that sounded good. thanks!:)

@ingenue you are too kind yo. thanks!:)

@ariyathe woah now thats something.much thanks madame:)