A disclaimer at the outset:This post is not meant to be a no holds barred hate post directed at Kerala’s capital.Trivandrum might have its share(a rather meaty share,actually) of shortcomings that don’t befit a state capital,but none so drastic to fuel an all out down-with- thiruvananthapuram slur. No sir,not at all.
This post focuses,specifically,on a particular afternoon,a fateful afternoon that planted in my friend S the desire to own a Lamb Of God tee. Oh gosh,I ve got it all wrong. Rewind.
Well the thing with metal,is that it gets to your head. Now we have,in our hostel, been having a major upheaval in music preferences over the past few months..Pink Floyd,Led Zeppelin,Jimi Hendrix,His Own Lamb, have been steadily gaining in popularity.The hair dresser looks at our locks with longing and melancholy writ large on his face.The neck remains perennially sore owing to headbanging of a particularly violent nature.. It is a culture,more than just being a genre of music,and the sense of belonging is particularly intense,making you want to express your veneration for your fav bands by sporting their memorabilia.
Right,so lets cut back to the day in question here.We(me,S and J) are in the city(er,I am being very liberal when I say city) for nadunissi naaygal (super movie btw,totally untrodden path in tamil cinema)..We walk out of the cinema,largely contented,on account of a forty rupees well spent,totally jobless and hours on end to kill. An idle mind is a devil’s workshop,they say.. and it so happened that that day,the devil came to roost in S’s mind. And thus started a wild goose chase around tvm’s apparel shops,for a Lamb Of God tee.
It would be an understatement to classify the afternoon as merely being eventful.It was a laugh riot. We were this close to being branded mentally unstable.I am pretty sure I heard a “yavan aaredey” (what specimen is this,mate?) while walking outta more than one shop. The conversation everywhere was essentially the same:
S:boss,you people have band tees?
Shopkeeper(SK):sure sir,which brand do you want?
S:er,band,mate.. not brand. You have?
SK:bandaa??*incredulous look* er no sir,we don’t.
S:No?i m sure we saw one outside when we walked in.
Me:hmmm lemme try.. dey,you have black tees?round neck?
SK:*face lightens up by several lumens* sir yes sirJ which colour do you want?red pink blue green?
S:dude!BLACK ROUND NECK!!?
SK:*frowns* sir… yes sir..*shuffles around uneasily,looks at colleague,colleague resolutely becomes interested in a speck of dust*
*picks out several tees from the shelf,thankfully black,none matching our description*
J(to a harrowed S):dey,machi,this aint working,our search engine needs better keywords to narrow down the field
J(to SK):boss,you have a black roundneck tee with prints of huge,menacing people on it?vverum jangaa.
SK:*scornful look,contempt writ large* oh,*those* tees.. no,er,sir.. We don’t bring em in these days,moving stock alla.
S:no wonder..*visibly disappointed*
SK:*with great reluctance*anything else,sir?
S:!@@#$%$^$W$%$^
Me:*groan*
The convo has been anglicized,but it was infinitely more side splitting in malayalam.Well,truth be told,we did come across some band tees,but much to our chagrin,LoG was missing.
S has still not got his tee,but like any valiant warrior,vows to strive endlessly till the day he treats his torso to a Lamb tee.. Optimism knows no bounds,I suppose..