Beverage Corporation to sue Kerala Tourism

The Kerala Beverage Corporation(Bevco) today announced its intent to drag Kerala Tourism (KT) to court. Speaking at a press conference,the Managing Director said that it had taken strong offense to Bevco being given the snub in the recently released short film on kerala.

The film was released at a glitzy event in London,as part of the KT promotion drive,and was touted as being a glimpse of the diaspora on offer in God's Own Country.This however was subjected to immense ridicule by Kerala's sizeable drinking population.

"The tourism thingy is a whole lot of bullcrap,kerala's entire socio political framework is on display outside Bevco outlets,this is what defines a Malayali,this is our identity!!",said a remarkably eloquent and liberally greased gentleman waiting patiently for his pint.

"We have a certain responsibility towards society,we uphold the interests of every individual who savours his favourite label after a hard day's work.Another damning factor is the revenue Bevco pumps into the Government's coffers,surely you cant overlook that!!",said the managing director,who appeared to be pretty incensed.

Support poured in from entirely unexpected quarters.The School Teachers' Association has reportedly written to KT to look into the matter with eager urgency."The queue outside an outlet is the best place to teach young kids the virtues of discipline and patience.We re even contemplating organizing field trips for our students,such is the stature Bevco holds here",said a representative.

Bevco,will,in protest be downing shutters tomorrow,but have rushed in buffer stock so as to avoid possible mass suicides.

Justifying the lockdown,a store owner said,"a daily pint is of paramount importance to the average malayali,even more than their patram,beedi and chaaya(newspaper,beedi and tea)".

Kerala Tourism spokespersons were not available for comment as they were busy stocking up for tomorrow.However,unconfirmed reports do point to the possibility of an early out-of-court settlement,as KT seem to have realized their folly,and are ready to atone for their blasphemy.

Delhi roads to be turned into waterways

In an epoch making move that has caught everyone by surprise,The Municipal Corporation of Delhi(MCD),announced its intent to cash in on the woeful waterlogging crisis by turning all roads into waterways and operating ferries. The announcement was followed,almost immediately,by bluelines flocking to the garage in a bid to dabble in remodelling and try passing off the buses as ferries.In completely unrelated news,a massive spurt in people signing up for swimming lessons was recorded.

"This just goes to prove that Delhi is an awesome city,a city that knows how to tide over difficulties. The Commonwealth Games will happen as per plan",said the chief minister Sheila Dikshit,though mediapersons at the press conference were left wondering what she meant.

"This move is primarily to ease the workload on our phone operators who are tired of hanging up each time people call in to report waterlogging",said a source who wished to remain anonymous.

The Delhi government has roped in beleagured,though still flamboyant ipl main man Lalit Modi to oversee the leasing out of various routes across the city to key corporate players who shall be given the responsibility of operating services.

Speaking to the press after the plan was unveiled,an ecstatic mr Modi said,"This is an honour. I m fpeechleff"

Allaying fears over the transparency of the whole process,he said,"The bidding shall be as per rules laid out by the government,there will be no foul play,mere lifp ki kasam!(i swear by my lisp)".

If all goes as per plan,Delhi will be the first city to turn a rather harrowing situation to its advantage.

Many cities all over the world have reportedly expressed interest in following in Delhi's footsteps.